Questions i have about poly
i’ve been asked to write this time about poly and my thoughts on it. Please remember this is in NO way saying that poly is good or bad, nor am i saying that it is for everyone….i have questions before i can write any sort of blog for my site, and would like to get thoughts from others on the subject.
In my many years in the lifestyle, i have seen or been a part of different types of relationships. My experience with poly, was not a good one, however, i try to remain objective and keep an open-mind to the possibilities of trying again.
i believe that communication is the key to any relationship. In saying that, i believe that it is absolutely essential when involved with poly. My issues stem from the lack of communication in my prior experience, and therefore, makes me very leery, if perhaps not jaded to entering into a similar situation again.
I have many questions, and input would be appreciated from anyone who might read my journal….so here goes
1. How does a poly relationship actually work? I have seen live-in poly, and live-out poly. Both seems to function rather well, again, as long as there is plenty of communication.
2. Why does the dominant need more than one significant submissive rather than two or several others? Is this a need, a want? To me, it gave me the feeling of “not being enough” that i wasn’t devoted, loyal or sexual enough to please, so they had to get someone else to “fill the gap”
3. How can the Dominant work with the submissives so that neither feel “left out” My past experience causes me to question my own self-worth, as well as, “will another girl take my place” or “take my Master from me?”
4. Should the submissive be the one to make friends with and/or possibly “choose” the one that will enter the “family?
5. Is there “one on one” time or is every interaction in the household, or will every interaction always have all the family members involved?
6. Finally, i guess i have to ask, Can the original couple “get established” before seeking another? Would it not be in the best interest of all involved to make sure there is a stable, secure environment BEFORE bringing a second/or more into the relationship. i believe that this would make the first 5 questions, less of a problem and more of an adjustment to adding a second or more.
As i said, my experience with poly was NOT a good one and because of it, i question not only myself, my quality of service, but also if the Dominant truly cared about me and my feelings.
Yes, i understand that the main purpose is to please and serve the Dominant, but if everyone in the relationship is not happy, is that really pleasing the Dominant?
Perhaps, with some input from others, and gathering a deeper understanding of the wants and needs of those who are/or have been in a poly relationship…i can make new decisions based on a better experience rather than a bad one smiles